My Lens, Your Lens - Projecting my OCPD
At work, I share a cubicle with a very calm guy, who never seems to snack or use the bathroom. As anyone with OCPD knows, calmness doesn't come easily when I am always obsessing and going though different behaviors. I feel like I am always eating in front of him, or checking my phone, or doing a million other little things, all while he stays totally still, only his fingers clacking and clicking.
Eating is the worst for me. When I want a snack, I feel like he must notice be unwrap my Luna bar. He must think I'm a pig, I think. He must think I'm compulsive and twitchy. He's watching, noticing...Everything I notice about myself.
A friend pointed out to me what I'm projecting what I notice onto him. It's me who watches what other people eat, judging them. It's my own obsession that would make me note how often my co-workers use the bathroom. Everyone has different emotional triggers they notice. For a shop-a-holic, they might notice what I wear each day, and couldn't care less about how many Luna bars I eat.
Projecting what matters to me onto others and thinking they MUST feel the same can cause a lot of suffering that isn't necessary at all. We all look at the world though our own lens. I made the mistake of thinking my cubicle mates lens was the same as my own.