Being with Myself

"We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about."--Joseph Campbell, The Power Of Myth

I put so much value on perfection in my outer actions and appearance. I am constantly putting time and effort into behavior and ritual. Life with OCPD means "getting it done right".

I am always trying to be more efficient, more effective, more perfect. So many days go by where I run from one thing to the next, cramming in all the behaviors that make my life feel in control. But there is no joy in that.

OCPD people tend to try to maximize everything, and push themselves to be the best. But what is "Best"? Maybe the best thing to do would be to simply "Be"

From a article on Reality Sandwich by Xander Stone

"Because we lack a true connection with our inner being, we are terrified of being alone, or of being at rest, and paradoxically, through our compulsive obsessions with the frenetic, technology-driven pace of life, we have alienated ourselves from ourselves."

It's too hard for me to "Simply Be" when I have a million things I am obsessed with doing or planning. Is it scary to simple be still? A little. But I am going to try to remember that the joy of being alive is not in "Doing" but in "Being".