Just a Blip - Emotional Sonar and OCPD

I feel like I have internal sonar system for when people may not like me. It cuts through the waves of emotion my daily life, pinging and blipping off little inciedents, But its not some high-tech, accurate sonar that can pinpoint a canoe.

My sonar is a broken-down throwback to World War I, when a large trout could be mistaken for a German U-boat.

My "emotional radar" works with about the same accuracy.

I'm always assuming the worst, and thinking people dislike me. Well, maybe some do. And maybe there are some hostil submarines in my waters. But mostly- I fortify my defences for nothing more that a silly fish!

I think I started doing this to avoid getting hurt, programming myself to never get my hopes up. Always being on the lookout for hostile forces keeps me from looking in - or reaching out.
So when I notice a glare, a smirk or a sigh - maybe I'll remember that sometimes my sonar is wrong. And if I set off all the alarms everytime a blip comes up, I'll drive myself crazy running from fish!

1 comment:

  1. Love! everything you post so if I don't comment every time you'll know!