Learning Without Regret- Mistakes and OCPD
We all make mistakes. With obsessive thoughts always lurking, it can be tough not to see these are irreconcialable failure, a telling test of our worth as human beings.
We know that one event can't define us. But if I focus on it too much, it sure can start to feel that why.
The problem is, we can't ignore our mistakes because we feel that "failure" is too painful to even think about.
We have to learn and grown, and this means taking a good hard looks at all the "mess-ups".
So step one is to actually face it. Yes, you did really break that vase, and no you can't lie to yourself about it. But its not helpfull to beat yourself up either, because the harsher you let you inner critic be, the more likely you will avoid fessing up or even thinking about mistakes in the future.
Inner beratement is like a mad teacher. A mistake is a like asking a question in class. If that mad teacher yells at you that your question is stupid and hits you wil a ruler, you stop asking. It hurts too much. But then, you never learn. You just avoid asking, avoid thinking critically about things that you need to face in order to succeed.
Mistakes are full of questions to be asked. What exactly just happened? Why did I do that? What could I have done diferently?