Photoshopping or retouching images is so common, every magazine cover is assumed to be the glossy, perfected depiction of the models and actresses. Everyone knows Photoshop works wonders on wrinkles, hiding age and acne, to show a perfect image.
Am I photoshopping my self? Hiding the imperfections with little white lies? So what lies underneath the gloss?
Honesty can be hard when the standards of self-perfection are so high. I know I lie to others, telling them what I want to hear. I also have trouble being honest with myself, about just how much of my anxiety is "real" and what is a distraction from my feelings and relationships.
Well, going into the Holidays I want to really be honest- mean what I say and say what I mean.
It's about being true to my feelings in action- not saying and doing what I "should" and then trying to skirt around it later. I have to speak up, and let my needs, failures, and emotions me known
I've thought about it and realized- How can I be accepted if the person I being isn't my true self? The more I lie, or shift the truth to make situations easier, the less true to myself I am. No one knows the real me, just the "perfect" acting one.
I have to be me, no matter what the immediate consequences. Because in the long term the lie of "perfect" will leave everyone, including myself, disappointed. And no matter how much I retouch, deep down I know its not the real image. No one can lie forever.
Being true in word and action is hard. It's hard to face that parts of me aren't near perfect, or even good. But If I can learn to show my true self honestly, maybe a more honest acceptance of my flawed self can grow.
Photoshopping is too hard to do forever. So starting today, no retouching allowed.
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