Just a Smile - Judgements and OCPD
I know I'm a perfectionist, as does anyone who watches me get ready in the morning as I go through several outfits. But I also hold people to a high standard, which they, like myself, so often fail to meet. This leads to constant surges of annoyance.
Why is the checkout lady so slow? Why is the cabbie going up 6th ave? How can my boss be so dense? Can the girl next to me chew with her mouth closed?... and so on.
I feel like the more I let other peoples imperfections make me irritated, the harder I am on myself, and the less joyful I am overall. Obviously some things will always grate on me. But can I learn to focus on the good in people, those little moments that can come out of nowhere to make me smile.
Example : A guy waiting on line next to me opens a soda and spills it all over, splashing my shoes. I can get upset and glare and complain (this is my 1st impulse) or I can see how funny it is, and try to make a joke to make light of his embarrassing situation. I choose the 2nd option. And guess what? I had to step out of line for a sec and he saved my spot with a smile. I cultivated positivity in myself and in him, all my not judging him so harshly.
So next time I'm mad at a bank teller taking forever, I"ll try to smile at her and ask how her day is going. Just to push though my irritation, to connect.
Just a smile. Even if I'm seething. Maybe it will make their day, and mine.
I know if nothing else it will make my own internal demons of judgment quiet down, at least until the next time someone takes the last parking spot. But hey, its all a practice!