Remembering Why I'm Running - Stress and OCPD
When I feel the mot stressed, like everything I do is wrong, like life itself is spinning out of control, like I will never ever be able to do what I want to do... then I have to put in some effort to stop myself.
That is when I know I am not being true to me. And I am wasting my own energy and life on pure negatively. I am making rules I can't follow, and its just hurting myself. I may have OCPD, but that doesn't mean I have to act like it.
Life was given to me. No matter what you believe, if you are reading this, you have life to. And no matter what the world or our own mind says, we are not in a race. We are not in some kind of "Life Accomplishment Olympics of Perfection". We are existing. And that means we get a prize just for showing up.
That doesn't make it easy to live inside myself when I feel the most downtrodden by my own perceived failures. But it makes it better to remember the hurdles I'm jumping over aren't real, and I can sit down and stop anytime I want, watching others as they run and jump by, always remembering that I have a choice to run in this rat race or not. And although I love to get my heart rate up, everyone needs to stop on the sidelines for a bit. And that's ok. Because existing is only fun if you stop and catch your breath once and awhile.